Ocicat's Hyped WMDs Never Existed!

Weapons-of-Mouse-Destruction Hoax

Friendly Feline Faces Fraudcharge

Sentencing Looms

  • The pose of ocicat W.M.D.Hobbes (b.2002/7/15), long billed to a trusting public as The Furry Force of Fast Finality — has been unmasked — his alleged WMDs exposed as about as dangerous as those dreamed-up in the hysterical DTs of President Preemptive.
    On the evening of 2005/4/3, after a 24h-vigil at his favorite kitchen-wall mouse-hole, WMDH successfully pounce-captured his 1st live mouse — and immediately tried to cuddle it to death. Instead of wreaking the kind of devastation which he has hitherto reliably & mercilessly meted out to every victim (during nearly three shock&awesome years of spreading unmitigated terror throughout the toy-mouse universe), Hobbes lifted his captive mouse with gentle jaws and carried him about as a lioness or panda would a cub.

  • When the reluctant-mate rodent then attempted to bolt behind a bookcase (to initiate the standard mouse-in-the-house routine: months of hiding, etc, etc, echh), Hobbes saved the day with a desperate, last-second, masterful SandyAmoros-esque grab.
    However, because Hobbes knoweth not his own strength, it was deemed wisest to arrange for divorce on-grounds-of-incompatibility.
    See photos at right. Above: jilted ex-cuddler, still looking for action, though fortunately under restraining-order. Below: love-saliva drenched but totally-unharmed cuddlee — in temporary bathtub-detention.

  • Mr.Cuddlee was affectionately released the same evening, onto distant grass in good weather, and wandered off in cheery spirits, preparing to select a new home to haunt.

  • The exposed feline faker is expected to be sentenced imminently to at least ten years of increased food and toys….