Least accurate fraction (demographically or fiscally):
referring to the rich as “the other half”.
Most educational
throwaway line of the 3rd Millennium.
“… contrary to what you think (and as a member of the news media,
I know exactly what you think) ….”
(Dave Barry Internation Herald Tribune 2004/7/31 p.7.)
Most
superfluous syllable: middle of “congressman”.
The universe's pinnacle in the achievement of
Deaf&Dumbness:
god.
Moving Ahead of “Awesome”:
Most gratingly overused expressions of the new millennium:
“at the end of the day”, having “issues”,
“stepping up”.
[Also: expressions in films that make it seem normal or Cool to get
drunk and even barf: “hammered”, “blow chunks” etc.
If booz industry money could find its way into backing films,
what effects might one expect?]
Funniest pressbabble = complaints out of the US media
(while the US-puppet-invited other-side-of-the-planet-US
imposes a bloody, increasingly hated foreign occupation on Iraq)
labelling occasional born-next-door
Iranian guerillas as “intruders” in Iraq.
Most widely-used IQ-test = burying the subject for years in
an unalloyed pile of bull-manure, to see if he's got the smarts to escape
& break free.
The test is sometimes called “religious education.”
Most entertaining jugglers: a difficult choice
among press, pols, and theologians.
With admiration (for both skill and brass), it can almost
rank as a perverse kind of pleasure to watch any of this lot,
whenever they're eternally explaining-and-explaining-and-explaining
their product's year-after-year-after-year of
somehow-not-quite-successful (yet) anti-injustice efforts.
[Pols rank highest in wealth-sucking here;
but that's partly because they collect money by force: taxes.
But US citizens aren't (usually, yet)
forced to choose a particular pol, newspaper, or religious cult.
Which is why superior jugglers are in-demand and well-remunerated.]
Ravel's most popular music = Blaro.
[Ravel on the piece: Yes, it's popular. A shame it isn't music.]
Least-concerned-for-democracy NY Daily News p.1 headline
(1964, in elation at military-coup ouster of democratically-elected
populist president Goulart)
BRAZIL'S PINK
PREXY BOOTED
Least-concerned-for-democracy NY Post p.1 headline
(2006/12/7, in deflation at Baker commission's electorate-salving suggestion
of someday-maybe-lowering US direct presence in Iraq), plus photo-montages
putting the faces of James Baker & Lee Hamilton on chimps:
SURRENDER MONKEYS
(OK, chimps aren't monkeys. But, would “SURRENDER APES”
or “APING MUNICH” on the front page have made
this Murdoch-Pentagon organ look any classier?)
So-Wright:
The most succinct summing-up of the money-obsessed state of modern academe
must be credited to sociologist G.Wright (1980s), stated in exasperation
at DR's idealistic but ludicrously non-empirical misapprehension
that truth is one of the aims of present-day universities:
“Academe is a racket.”
Cleverest mag-cover headline: at the time of the exposure of
the massive Reagan-administration fiscal chicanery
of Ollie North (now FOX military commentator),
involving arms-deals in the Iran-Iraq war
(that merely killed ordmag a million people),
Washington Monthly ran a cover
(perhaps at the suggestion of the incomparable
Art Levine?) showing
Hungarian-accented dipso Zsa Zsa Gabor behind bars (doing her jail-stint
for the war-crime
of slapping a cop), beckoning Ollie with a come-hither look:
Zsa Zsa to Ollie:
I Got What You Need
Classiest suicide-note: by Zsa Zsa's nth husband,
urbane actor George Sanders, who lived life as a party.
When old age took too much of the fun out of life, he wisely chose
the philosopher's death, leaving a note reading simply:
“I am bored, so I am leaving.”
Most trips to the nut-hatch by a well-known (non-pol) thespian:
Funny Farmer.
[How'd M.Brooks not get this into his 1982 film-bio Frances?
(Possession of an unDIOesque
minim of good taste?)]
Tersest summing-up of what directors went through when dealing with Farmer,
a spoiled doper with an abundance of entitlement and court convictions:
“The nicest thing I can say about Frances Farmer is that
she is intolerable.”
Dopiest coincidences:
Before the Iraq invasion to maintain the US' oil-addiction, the two wars
which US politicians chose to fight were in Kosovo & Afghanistan.
Both US interventions
were on the side of factions that help flood the West with drugs
for dope-addicts — which produce gigaprofits
that can corrupt
gov'ts with ease.
The 3rd (Iraq) of the 3 most recent US wars is over oil, an addiction having
a coincidental resemblance to drugs — a huge wholesale-vs-retail markup:
dirt-cheap-to-produce, but expensive-to-buy on-the-street
— when an armed
(always armed) cartel controls it and uses the vast markup-difference
to buy media, elections, pols & thus gov'ts.
[The oil cartel's army is largely the US army,
which the oil-money-bought US gov't taxes the public to pay for.
The only drug cartels that do not (directly) use weapons are religions,
whose addictive substance is not carried in envelopes or tankers.
They instead lend
their opiates to the soldiers of others' armies
— sort of a drug-franchising operation.]
The world's top heroine producer-nation is Afghanistan.
The world's top heroine user-nation is the US.
Whose top user-city is Baltimore, a major but near-bankrupt port
(on the Atlantic, conveniently inland up the Chesapeake),
— one of the ports Shrubya tried to put under Dubai ownership.
The successful restauranteur brother of Afghanistan's president
happens to reside in Baltimore.
Top ethnic-pride racists = those who complain most about racism in others.
Most diversionarily wasted character in the history of printing:
see Defynitions.
Lowest form of humor =
punmanship.
[But some of us can't help ourselves….]
Best
of man's intelligence = inductive logic: drawing theory from data.
(It will be the last type of intelligence to be bested by computers. If ever.)
It's obviously
DR's very highest pleasure.
Talk About Carrying a Torch!
Ultimate Stalker = the Union Army under W.T.Sherman,
which on 1865/2/17 torched the already-surrendered town of Columbia
(Seat-of-The-Rebellion capital of South Carolina), for the SC legislature's
reluctant-bride 1860 sin of divorcing out
of its prior marriage with the North.
(DIO 4.3 [1994]
‡15 §C11 [p.125].)
Most generous peace-maker: W.T.Sherman.
(DIO 4.3 [1994]
‡15 n.13 [p.125].) Indeed, his generosity nearly got him arrested.
Most precise, refined, and transparently almost-funny race-conceit
is one which DR has occasionally experienced
among fellow-WASPs: the traditional
middle-aptitude
WASP's self-satisfaction that blacks are too dumb;
Jews, too smart. But, thank-god: WASPs are just-right.
Most ubiquitous cons:
[a] US elections.
[b] Popular religion.
[c] Political-correctness on racial mean intelligence.
[The last of these cons follows
the classic flim-flam artist's unvarying opening-ploy:
appeal to the mark's vanity and greed.
The con-man tells the victim he's a very smart guy, who deserves
the desideratum the former will help the latter receive. (Someday.
After a complex procedure which entails paying for the former's services.)
When the smoke clears, guess which one got rich.]
Common to these three hoaxes:
[1] All are regarded by US rulers as necessary to the smooth functioning
of the System from which they draw wealth and power.
[2] Their sturdy maintenance requires expensive and
unsleeping media
police protection
— which is a broad hint at the obvious truth that all three are
so logically feeble, they would crumble under the slightest open debate.
The
Battle-Cry of … of … of ……… O, Yeah, FREEDOM: Mostpre-post-erous (in the literal sense of that word) excuse
for going to war: Lincoln's GWBushly late arrival at the slavery-issue
(1863/1/1) as toppe war-justification (automatically demoting the original
battle-cry).
Some have said that the Emancipation-Proclamation had
to wait for a big Northern victory.
(If the 1862/9/17 Sharpsburg semi-draw could be so called.)
But there might've been another slight hitch to an 1861 BigFuss about
invading the South to squush the evils of slavery, namely:
throughout 1861, slavery was still legal in Washington, DC.
It was only outlawed there in 1862. (Lincoln
[whose wife had been a slave-owner, like Grant's] signed a bill
on 1862/4/17 that ensured its end in Washington.
But the fade-out was promised to be accomplished only gradually,
a promise that of course wasn't kept — except to the extent that:
Gen.Sherman was never going to burn slave-holders' homes in Washington, DC.
Tanks have always been notorious as rolling coffins, but:
deliberately setting up a library which is already being
joked about as the GWBush Think-Tank…?
Best antidote to suicide = curiosity: what's going to happen tomorrow?
Best empirical argument in favor of some fundies' belief in devolution
to explain-away (without accepting Darwin) monkeys' human resemblance:
the House of Windsor.
Most superfluous civil improvement:
adding speed bumps to Baltimore's holey streets.
Greatest key
to happiness = reasonable expectations.
[This unasked-for advice is especially aimed at world-saving idealists.
whom DR tends to admire, empathize-with, and encourage —
but who too-often start out all-knowingly knowing absolutely nothing
of what gov'ts are really
about —
and thus (due to such cemental-schiz detachment from reality)
tend to end up as burned-out, hyper-frustrated, or dictators.
Woody Allen on world-saving: takes too long &
too many lawyers.
And one recalls ultra-conservative P.J.O'Rourke's perceptive comment that
if you ask leftists about the US gov't, they say how perfectly awful it is.
But when you ask them for solutions to social problems, they say: the gov't.]
Those who see DR as overly pessimistic about the future
should know that he has led an unusually happy, productive life
by adjusting to an unideal world, even while remaining an idealist —
but one who is nonetheless disappointed by those who give idealism a kook name
(so
that pragmatic folk can just scoff at “world-savers”),
by improvidently pursuing — regardless of
evidence —
unthought-out paths-to-nirvana chimeras, thereby squandering
their idealistic energy on unlikely, spectacularly
inefficient
(DIO 4.2 [1994]
‡9 n.44 [p.90]), ultimately counter-productive,
or even outright-impossible sisyphan projects. (Instead of
applying their talents & drive sensibly, towards attainable ends.)
Such tragic waste can only help idealists' enemies.
Which goes a long way towards explaining why said enemies are getting
ever more dominant.]
Best proof that dogs and cats can interbreed:
the lapdog-copycat “science press”.
Only Congress Could Build Even a Wall With a
Loophole:
Best evidence that the half-way-across US-Mexico wall won't work:
the fact
that the US' business-puppet-theatre Congress is building it.
Brightest network newsman = Keith Olbermann.
(Even if he is a Dembo.)
[What is the surest test*
for spotting genetic-Dembos?]
Most masculine mom of all time? Holy Mother Church.
GROW UP!
Most selfevidently-infantile fantasy of all time =
belief in an invisible celestial parent.
Most explicitly self-worshipping rental = a shrink.
Most implicitly self-insulting rental = a shrink.
Oddest invert-irony. Dead-heat between several
bizarrities:
[a] The more god dumps on poor folk, the more they love him;
and the more god coddles rich folk, the more they privately go agnostic.
[Bertrand Russell oft emphasized this revealing irony.]
[b] Only 20% of US voters tell pollsters that they trust Congress
— even while the same voters usually re-elect 90% of congressmen.
[With the same illogic that leads most to believe
they live in the best nation (their family's, what-a-coincidence) &
partake of the best religion (ditto),
voters imagine THEIR district's congressman is the lovable
exception.
The apparent contradiction is due to propaganda-hypnotism
by each district's local press — which is invariably owned
by the same rich-rulership-klan that picks the “exceptional” pols
whom the press sells to the public as the-little-guy's-friends.
Question: can any other theory explain
the above-cited gross 20%-vs-90% contradiction?!]
[c] Much of the Dumbos' fundie-constituency rigidly believes
the universe is run by a just, kind, &
fair god,
yet many of these fundies suspect god created blacks unequal in IQ.
Meanwhile, the Dembos' anti-fundie intellectual constituency believes
in random natural-selection, yet non-evidentially insists
— without (revealingly) admitting any possibility of error here —
that all races' mean intelligences just-happened
(by a miracle of super-Biblical proportions) to come out
exactly equal.
(DIO 4.2 [1994]
‡9 n.40 [pp.89-90].)
Guff & Guffaws:
Most obvious omission of words = Bush 2005/12/12 claim that
the US must help Iraq in the “hour of need” —
should read “hour of the US' own oil-addict need”.
[The 1st president George's shade must have especially guffawed
at the transparency of this particular Shrubya lie.
From Washington's 1796 Farewell Address: “It is
folly
in one nation to look for disinterested favors from another….
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.”]
Strumpet-With-a-Trumpet: Most
Elaborate Virginal Airs by a Slut: the US press.
Most Elaborate MercyMasks on Ruthless Ambition: Rulerships.
Most Elaborate Eternal-Principles Pose by Self-Preserving Chameleon:
Roman church.
[However, one notes that despite French rule, Tahiti yet lingers
in the same majority-Protestant limbo it had in early Brit missionary days.
I like to think that this has established an exception to the above comment.]
Most blithely selfish people = European smokers.
Hey, Who Left Out “This”?
Most common invisible ellipsis: US money's “In …
God
We Trust”.
Wordfumbling Twenty Years Later
— and Counting…:
History's longest hangover = G.W.Bush.
The most expensive product manufactured anywhere today:
“Reasonable doubt.”
World's leading male prostitution ring: U.S. Congress.
(DIO 2.3 [1992]
‡6 §D6 [p.93].)
Most impressive case of so-dumb-as-to-not-even-realize-own-dumbness:
history-of-astronomy's political center.
Sickest & slickest synonym for eternal hate-war:
“peace process”.
Ultimate DeadBeat Dad:
Heavenly parent-creator who stays eternally
out of sight, out of edible (or financial) assistance, out of words,
& out of town.
Best goofy caper film = Hot Rock (1972).
Best Western = Warlock (1959).
Most TragiComic Lie: the “liberality” of the media.
(See, e.g., TV Guide 1993/9/25; also
DIO 2.1 [1992]
‡1 §G [p.7].)
Most pathetic philosophy:
the lotterati's vision of the universe as a place
where god rewards faith through bouncing ping-pong balls.
(Close 2nd: astrology.)
Most profitable
protection
racket: national armies.
Logical Brains vs Bleating-Hearts:
Greatest enemy of Dem-religion-egalitarians' rigid, sheeplike,
censorial resistance to even the bare possibility that genetic factors
partially underlie consecutive millennia of
world-wide mass-non-advancement of blacks
(despite a wide spectrum of environmental circumstances) =
Occam's Razor.
Slickest Bait&Switch: US establishment asked for anti-racist Equal-Rights
integration (Brown v. Board & MLKing's dream-speech) and then — when
such laws were passed (but didn't work as expected) — 180°-switched
to demands for racist Affirmative Action laws and quotas.
[Likewise, the increasingly common (perhaps over-optimistic) hope-alibi
that solving US race inequities is going to take ordmag a century.
If only these little matters had been stated up-front by those
who pushed not just for racial integration but what it's actually been
in the US, namely, forced racial integration.
(For the non-rich, anyway.) Our ever-guiding media tend to omit the key word.
(Unless euphemistically referring to some plan or other as
“court-ordered”.)
PseudOld-maxim DR invented: in a social controversy, when you have
to pull out a gun,
well — your logical persuasion has obviously failed.]
Most hypocritical pseudoargument:
growth-forever plutocrats who preach that there's no need
for population-control, because there's so much area/person on Earth now
— even while the very same fat-growth-preachers hog so much land
for themselves that the rest of humanity is packed into cities
which capitalism has made into overdense and overnervous
(albeit productive) rat-cages.
Best Flipflop Juggling-Act Award goes to
our Minimum-Leader Legacy-President warlord:
world's #1 broken-record flipflop-accuser oil-state-native Shrubya,
trying to get his story straight on exactly WHY he decided to invade Iraq.
Best summary of Shrubya Antoinette's attitude
toward the rich US' millions of
undernourished
citizens:
Let them eat Jesus.
God's greatest neglect: to exist.
Nun Dare Call It Fun:
The stock-joke female alibi for getting pregnant has usually been:
“But-but-but we only did it once.”
So the Alltime-Funniest-Alibi-for-Unexpected-Pregnancy-Award has got to go to
Jesus' stage-mom, THE nun-paragon of all time — the Virgin Mary:
“But-but-but we only did it nunce.”
Ultimate social-climb try: pushy socialite
17yr-old Baroness Marie Vetsera's 1889 suicide pact
with the Austro-Hungarian Empire's
Prince Rudolph, to become his one eternal Princess.
Ultimate social-climb strikeout: after the co-suicide,
the very name of Marie Vetsera
(previously Vienna's fashion-queen
and “Turf Angel” of the horse-racing clique)
was thoroughly, meticulously expunged
from Austrian history for ordmag a century.
The Wages of Pushiness?:
Emperor riskiest to be connected-to. Austrian Emperor Franz Josef 1.
Great-great-aunt Marie Antoinette guillotined (1793).
Brother Max
executed by firing squad (1867).
Son&heir Rudolph murder-suicided (1889).
Wife Sisi assassinated (1898).
Nephew&heir Franz Ferdinand shot by Austrian subject Princip (1914).
And one or two of FJ's subjects died in battle,
after he decided to teach the Serbs a lesson and triggered WW1….
Longest-time out-to-lunch-when-needed.
The award goes to god, for eternity.
History's most immortal
chiseler: Moses.
(DIO 10 [2000]
§T1 [p.76].)
World's first conjoined triplets = Bush-Cheney-Pentagon.
Most well-integrated US neighborhood? The Hollywood screen.
Least well-integrated US neighborhood? Hollywood, California.
Shotgun wedding of all time? War Between the States.
Most telling vote?
Don't.
(DIO 8.2 [1998]
‡5 §B3 [p.46].)
The happiest moment in the modern history of the Japanese and British Empires
was exactly the same historical event.
What was it?
Berlin's luckiest WW2 break: losing the War before the A-Bomb was ready.
(We all know the story of the list of 5 Japanese cities
that could be bombed in 1945 August: Hiroshima, Nagasaki, etc.
But, had Germany been still fighting in late 1945,
the list would have been: Berlin, Berlin, Berlin, Berlin, or Berlin.)
The Magificent Candidate-Force:
Best magic trick = A US “election”: Pick a pol.
Any pol….
[DR's Plunkittesque view of US democracy is indeed analogous
to magicians' mirth at the average sucker,
who really believes that HE is choosing the card-any-card.
Magicians know & practice so many dozens of methods of
pre-determining the “chosen” card that this entire branch
of illusionist-fraud has its own name: the Card-Force.
(I.e., the card is forced upon the victim even
while the poor sap believes he made a free selection.)
So should we henceforth refer to
US “elections” as the Candidate-Force?
The main difference is one which only goes to show that
US elections are a higher form of magic than card-tricks.
If a card-trickster wishes to try matching US elections,
for sheer magificence (no typo),
then let him show his next victim two jokers, and convince him
that they are ACTUALLY different cards.]
(See Plunkitt.)
Silliest Redundances: “careless smoking” and
“religious
nut”.
[Mass-religion's reps often mirrorlessly sling the latter redundance
at competing superstitions' believers.]
Humanity's most unique miracle: Wagner.
[Who could have died in the Baltic storm that inspired
1843's Flying Dutchman; or for his revolutionary activities
of 1848, when — with a price on his head —
he barely escaped to Switzerland with his life and his piano.
[And, oh-yes, his ever-unappreciated 1st wife.])
Think on the forever-loss to culture
which his premature death would have incurred.
Similar to the nasal near-disaster of Wagner's equivalent
in aggressiveness (and royal-treasure-spending), Tycho Brahe.
Newton's discovery that physical law
applies throughout the universe comprised a mathematization of
Kepler's 3 Laws, the 1st two of which were discovered via Tycho's
high-level astronomical observations —
which would not have occurred had the duel-sword cutting off
much of the already-pugnacious young Tycho's nose (1566/12/29)
instead cost him his proximate eyes. See Tycho's 1004-Star Catalog,
DIO 3 [1993]
n.5 [p.4]: “ponder how close [Danish nobleman M.] Parsbjerg's
swinging sword must have come, to the eyeballs of him
who was about to revolutionize observational science.”]
Greatest monuments to mass paranoia = tie between:
[a] Churches.
[b] Affirmative
Action.
Worst Hollywood Lipsync: “We're doing the best we can.”
Most promising candidates for US Olympic Diving Team:
Foreman & Moorer.
The universe's smallest entity? Trailing team's
strike-zone
in TV-era major league bizball. (Best massage in the universe: same answer.)
Unsubtlest introduction to a specious argument?
A dead-heat tie on this one:
[A] “It's easy to say....” and
[B] “I'm sure you'll agree....”
Twentieth Century Bests:
Flop of the Century: Communism.
World Cancer of the Century: Capitalism.
Events of the Century: 1903/12/17, 1914/6/28, 1941/6/22, 1941/12/7,
1945/8/6, 1969/6/20, 2001/9/11.
Mass Murderers of the Century: Tobacco-Industry and Hitler. In that order.
Worst volcano = Mt. St. Hell.
Greatest US arctic explorer = Robert Peary.
Science Hoaxer of the 20th Century = Robert Peary.
[DIO 1.1 [1991]
p.28: “Peary sacrificed, suffered, and devoted his life
to seeking undying fame. And he has won it, by his magnificence
in exploration and prankery. Grand success at either takes skill and courage.
He had both in epic proportions.”]
Greatest of all polar explorers: Roald Amundsen.
[“once one clears away
the also-rans and the hoaxers, Amundsen's record of priorities
exceeds that of all other polar explorers combined. He was:
1. First to winter in the Antarctic.
2. First through the Northwest Passage.
3. First to the South Pole.
4. First circumnavigator of the Arctic Ocean.
5. First to the North Pole.
6. First to the Ice Pole
(the Arctic Ocean point farthest from land-masses).
7. First to cross the Arctic Ocean.
8. First polar explorer to die attempting
to save the life of an enemy”.
(DIO 10 [2000]
p.3.)]
Two Quick Lessons on the Worth of “History”:
Purest idealist in all history: anonymous.
[B.Russell on Tom Paine: some worldly wisdom is
required.
even to secure praise for the lack of it.
(Cited at D.Rawlins Peary … Fiction [1973] p.56,
regarding the relative obscurity of
upright explorer Adolphus W. Greely.)]
Most Justified in Group-Narcissism: Japanese, Jews, & Germans.
Suffered Most for Group-Narcissism: Japanese, Jews, & Germans.
The most expensive product manufactured anywhere today:
“Reasonable doubt”.
Top something-for-nothing crocks? — heaven and gambling.
Which turn out (in Pascal's Casino) to be
the same thing.
The universe's richestmud-mine:
a controversy's last ditch.
Those least able
to speak freely = speakers.
[Namely, those who reach the most citizens
(& thus influence them): newsmen, pols, profs.
See DIO's first
Germ:
“The more widely trusted an institution,
the less trustworthy it is.”]
Least reliable friend: god.
(God's greatest neglect: to exist.)
Favorite bones = trombones, which Beethoven
(in his Op.86 and Op.67) introduced to the modern orchestra,
thus incorporating the great deep-brass power
that shrill trumpets can never achieve.
Lappiest lap-dog = the “science press”.
[If an eminent archon proposed that 2 + 2 = 5, few science-press
types — many of them ENGLISH majors, after all! —
would dare question it without consulting with several other archons
already depended-upon for decades as gurus and brain-doubles.]
Worst sports insult:
Jim Lampley (MSNBC-TV 2000/9/20)
spoke of cricket as a “sleep-inducing version of baseball”.
[On the other side, BBC called softball just
“baseball without the spitting”:
Wash Post 00/9/28.]
Besides being implicitly anachronistic, this was an insult on the level
of describing a guy as too sluggish to fake it as a corpse.
Pharmaceutical Industry Icon: Pharmacist
with most tranquillizer-customers = pope.
History's only instance where a boat answered a man's question.
Polar explorer J.Charcot named his ship Pourquoi Pas? Why Not?
Later, during his explorations, the boat sank and killed him.
Biggest joke of all time: a tie. Life. Or Death.
Ultimate breast-man = milk-drinker.
Worst coincidence:
that the same fateful year (1453 AD) should contain both:
[a] the fiery fall of bibliophilic Constantinople, and
[b] Gutenberg's invention of the very printing press
that could have perpetuated those books thus lost forever in the calamity.
Top Blowhard of the Century = Bill Clinton?
Top Blowsoft of the Century = Monica?
Most hyperactively short attention-span: press.
[Exception: drip-torture-bore propaganda-stuffing of the public skull.
I.e., anything not subject to the standard short-memory = a celeb's
and-or pol's press agent is
paying for it.]
Funniest incessant US medium-drumbeat pseudo-fresh story:
we haven't had enough race-dialog.
Best at the capitalist game: well, it isn't Adam Smith's descendants.
[WASPs set up capitalist US, and Germans set up capitalist Germany
— and both thought it was a great idea, and damned Karl Marx-inspired
communism as a Jewish plot to make the rich give back to the poor
all the money capitalists had worked so hard and so long to squeeze
out of their exploitees. All was well until the arrogant Gentile capitalists
found that Jews were better than Gentiles at their own capitalist game.
Then, all sorts of bars were set up to exclude Jews —
or even (in Germany) just decree an arbitrary halftime-change-of-rules,
merely to grab back what Jews had won, while beating
Gentiles in the capitalist game Gentiles had initially agreed to.
(Whether current quite
disproportionate
Jewish fiscal infusions into US political parties should affect
the foregoing view, others can judge.)
It's an old pattern: if we win, we keep our gains. If we lose, we cancel
the game or even steal back our loses. Who would play games or anything
else
with con-artists like that?
(Reminds one of gambling at heads-we-win-tails-you-lose
casinos,
which, e.g., bar card-counters.)]
Biggest holding-pen for criminals? It's sometimes called Los Angeles.
Best doubletake of 1998. Monica was calling the First Willy
“el Schmucko” & “the Big Creep” because:
he was cheating on her.
(DIO 8.2 [1998]
‡5 §H6 [p.50].)
Either BJ or ML would do anyone.
So, when they met, the outcome was inevitable.
Best Mutt&Jeff act: Roman church's Jeff to the IRA & anti-abortion
terrorist-bomber Mutts. Besides Herblock (on the latter issue),
no press-person dares be an appropriately severe theatre critic.
[See Herblock's cartoon (Wash Post 1994/8/3 p.A16), showing
picketers innocently saying “Shooting doctors? Bombing clinics?
— how could people think of doing such things?”
They simultaneously carry signs reading “Abortion is
MURDER”,
“Baby-killing doctors must be STOPPED!”,
“Never mind what's LEGAL, this is a fight for LIFE!”,
“Abortion Clinics are DEATH chambers.”
It's such bold & elucidating cartoons that pose the greatest
danger
to the US mestablishment's pompous claims to legitimacy —
so it's little wonder that cartoonists are now being
systematically laid-off nation-wide by US newspapers.]
Of course, Islam has lately taken over the Mutt&Jeff championship-belt,
along with the bunnyrabbit religion one as well.
Best title for Blackboard Jungle scene in which Vic Morrow
trashes Richard Kiley's phonograph-disk collection:
“records were made to be broken”.
Earless leader = G.W.Bush.
Propositions which inspire the greatest certainty
in the face of utter absence of positive evidence
(plus serial confrontations with discouraging evidence):
tie between
omnipotent beneficent deity and
racial equality.
[Naturally, neither can be sustained
without unremitting
establishment-spewed propaganda.]
Best giveaway-indicator consumable
for insecure-ostentatious-pretentiousness:
tie [a] between overwhelming-stinko cigars
& [b] underwhelming-taste
shellfish.
Jokesters' fave political trend:
political parties nominating handsome men for the Presidency
(to grab the fem vote) — and then wondering why these men
keep getting into trouble with the magnetized gender.
(DIO 8.2 [1998]
‡5 §H29 [p.54].)
Biggest Conspiracy:
Since black intelligence is just as high as any other group's,
we know that only an eternal & worldwide sneaky racist conspiracy
can explain why blacks have been at the bottom
of virtually every mixed civilization,
all over the planet, since the dawn of history.
[Though, how does being hoodwinked for thousands of years work out
to a defense of black intelligence?]
Most common self-slander: incumbent pols calling themselves
“experienced”.
Shortest trip: filmic Ed Wood complaining (near end of Ed Wood):
“You're driving me crazy!”
Boobs of the Century: Peary's Geographical Society North-Pole-Certifiers.
(You were expecting another answer?)
[But, so as not to disappoint, we provide a joke told by R.Newton:
when Gov.Warner & rent-a-wife Liz Taylor appeared on a balcony at
an election-victory party, it is said that someone yelled out:
“There they are, the 3 biggest boobs in Virginia.”
Apostrophic apotheoses:
[a] Coughin' Nails.
[b] 'laus von Bülow.
[c] 'rap Music.
[d] TV 'snews.
Catastrophic apostrophies:
[1] King the Richard Lyin'hearted
(aka C'ur de Lyin', aka Tricky Dicktator).
[2] 'sshole Music.
[3] T'ird World.
Silliest waste of metal: “No Right Turn on Red”
signs.
[Suggested way to eject them from Baltimore: charge that
their ubiquity in the city is racist. Since the city is mostly black,
accuse the city gov't of implying citizen-stupidity,
since the signs are undeniably paternalistic. Try this,
and the blight of NRTOR signs would vanish yesterday.]
Force vs Farce:
Century's Least-Remarked Contrast: Naked-Force-Steel-Resolve to Integrate
(the Poor's) Schools vs. Bleeding-Heart-Wimp Immigration-PseudoControl Farce.
Twentieth Century's most transparent US fake justice:
the rich forceably integrating all high schools except the rich ones.
(DIO 8.2 [1998]
‡5 §I2 [p.55].) And doing so at the point of a gun.
First place in the previous century: Lincoln's 1861-1865 war, in which
the northern rich, after years of promoting immigration (to break
workers' wage demands), then used the resultant poor-unemployed
(their own overpopulation-hydra) to invade the South —
while they themselves dodged the draft for $300/head.
Most Shortsighted PseudoSolutions of the Century: Gun Control & Pro-Life.
Most Durable Thought-Controllers of the Century: the Church & Mad Ave.
The happiest event
for Japanese Empire top warlord Tojo Hideki
and Brit P.M. Winston Churchill was the same: Pearl Harbor.
[At that moment, Churchill KNEW that the Brit Empire would survive WW2.
Additionally, only a day before, the Nazi Army was hurled back
from within sight of the Kremlin — by Russian troops (under Zhukov)
which had been freed from Siberian watch for Jap invasion because Russian
espionage had learned that instead of helping Germany against Russia,
Tojo (ignoring the advice of his wiser colleague Togo) had decided
to opt for energy-independence by grabbing the oil of the Indies.
Pearl Harbor was a typical attack-before-war-declaration,
which perversely induced the remarkable reverse, when Japan-ally Hitler
decided (1941/12/11) suicidally to commit an act utterly unique
to his own warlord career:
declare war on a nation (the US) BEFORE attacking it.]
Longest-odds
lottery-winners of all time: the human race.
Best journeys of them all: your never-to-be repeated life
— and mentally-traveling your unique accumulated memories of it.
Notes:
*The sharpest test for identifying
a Dembo, no matter how hard the Dembo may try to hide his herd-disease:
ask for a non-shilly-shallyin' immigration-policy. As M.Tomasky's
Left for Dead (Free Press [Simon & Schuster] 1996)
pointed out long ago: the Dem sheeple's bleating-hearts
have
no immigration policy. (Can't turn away
any needy applicant
… and they all are. Can't even require that they learn English.
Or cut population-growth-rates. Too elitist.)
Olbermann's brilliant news program oft justly jibes
at the celeb crowd's pregnancies by mock-exclaiming:
“o-no! they're BREEDING!”.
The day he says that about Mexicans, I'll know he's graduated from
PC-terror (of expressing more than mock-horror-at-trivia)
and-or Dembo-partyline-whoreling to commenting on
the Olbermann-unmentionable's
tsunamic running-sore that threatens (long-term — and
not all that long,
either) every liberty he claims to hold dear.
Notes added 2007:
NineHundredNinetyNine TV 'snews-Discussable Reasons
Why the Dembos Aren't DeFunding the
Iraq Occupation:
As prez-primaries loom, Olbermann is host
to every brand of alibier of the Dems'
failure to listen to 70% of the public that is sick of the “war”.
All this theater is designed to avoid the real reason: the Dems were
(as stated on this site back in 2006 Autumn)
faking all along.
Tobacco Money Is Not Only Everywhere —
But It NEVER Forgets or Forgives —
And Gets&Gives to Those It Can Buy:
Anyone who doubts whether newsmen can be “influenced” might
(if their nightly echoes of scummy celebs' p.r. men isn't a convincer)
glance at how Olbermann commemorated Yul Brynner's great posthumous ads
against smoking (which've probably helped save a million lives by this time).
Olbermann 2007/10/10 20:30EDT (caps added): “On this date in 1985,
we lost the famous actor Yul Brynner to lung cancer. The star of
The King & I had the most unlikely pre&post acting careers.
In his 20s, he was French-speaking announcer for the US Office of War
Information broadcasts into occupied France and was a nude model.
After his death he appeared in public service announcements for
the American Cancer Society, INSISTING cigarettes killed him and making
the chilling announcement ‘Now that I'm gone, I tell you:
Don't Smoke’ The lategreat comedian Bill Hicks [joked] that
19000 viewers, hearing the introduction to the spot (by the now-late Brynner)
said to themselves: ‘What is this guy selling?’ ”
What a chuckle.
[Granted that the last crack can be interpreted several ways,
that is hardly true of the word “insisting”.
We are here assuming that the reader is aware that the word
“insist” is the prime verbal arrow in the quiver of every p.r.man
who is hired to subliminally cast doubt upon the indubitable.] A Racist! A Racist! — Roll-Reversal:
Attacking media figures who (unrandomly often) just so happen to be
critics of
the PC-Dembos' pandering
to those who paranoically and ineducably keep blaming
persistent black mass-failure primarily upon secret racism
(and-or who are opponents of the US' massive illegal-alien wave)
has become a regular feature of Olbermann's eveningly MS-NBC show.
[Which invites-on only folks who agree with KO's programme: far less diversity
than even FOX!
— virtually ignoring Huffington people (when discussing
Iraq-exit), once they'd helped the Dems win in 2006.]
The accelerating attempts by KO&clique to
sniffout&snuffout
anyone suspect of
the slightest trace of “racism” is repulsively
anti-free-speech and has lately (2007) become almost as
obsessive as
frantic, on-a-roll unterblood-hound-Ernst Röhm
(another socialist who strove to purify society
by eliminating dissent and other anti-social poisons), as depicted in
David Low's 1933 cartoon satirizing
the tragi-comically paranoiac diversionary-witchhunt depths
to which once-high German civilization had sunk.
[Action-principals, left-to-right: Franz von Papen,
Prez Hindenburg, Chancellor Hitler, Röhm.]
Much of KO's jibing at GOP-slut
FOX's super-patriotism etc is both accurate and salutary.
But when KO rightly attacks contempt for the law in some of his opponents,
his own silence on business's middle-class-killing
illegal exploitation of illegal immigrant peons
becomes embarrassingly stark. One other point:
KO's attacks on most of his enemies increasingly looks
less like an attempt to correct and deflate them than to convince the viewer
never
(again?) even to tune-in — ever — to what they have to say.
Dangerous approach. And all too familiar to our readers.]
Many of the foregoing items were written during the 20th century,
which is thus “the Century” (B&DR's century)
referred to in those cases.
